Today, I write this post with a heavy, heavy heart... today, feels like the worst day of my entire life... today, I lost my first baby, my best friend and my protector. Our sweet Texie went to be with Jesus in doggie heaven where his dog food bowl is overflowing with treats, his back hips don't hurt anymore, and he can run and play fetch and never get tired! It is a place where dreams come true and the sky is the limit. However, for those of us who sweet Tex left behind, we are in a complete depression. Yesterday seemed like the perfect day for our family as the dawgs finally pulled out a victory against Tennesse... (Yay for the dawgs) and then we came home to my parents house and played ball with Texie, Philip and Parker with the new GA football that daddy brought home to all his boys from the game! Texie was running like a puppy playing fetch and Philip and Parker cackled at every toss! I couldnt believe how good Tex was running and playing and it was truly God giving him his one last memory with us here on earth! And what a perfect memory it was!! The next morning when we woke up, Texie just laid there and didnt move. We called his name... but got no response or movement. Finally I went to him where he was lying on the ground and touched his heart... there was no beat, no sound, no movement... just complete peace. I immediately went hysterical as any of you dog lovers can imagine... good thing Philip decided to sleep in late this morning so he was not awake during this dramatic time of loss. Phil and my dad picked up Texie who as we all knew was already gone and put him in our car. We took him to the emergency vet as it was a Sunday morning where the drs determined that he must have had a massive heart attack in the night but had gone in his sleep with no pain and very quickly. Wow I thought... what an amazing way to go when we its time... I just kept thinking how that is how I would like to go someday too - playing with my family and running and laughing as if I was a child and then going peacefully in the night. However, Tex was only 8 1/2 so I am struggling with losing him so young and just still cant even wrap my mind or heart around him being gone! At the vet, we got a clay paw print impression of Texie and said our sad goodbyes... I will never forget that moment as much as I wish it never happened. Then after Phil and I left the vet, we decided to stop at Starbucks for a latte and so Phil of course went in as I was balling uncontrollably in the car and he had somehow found the strength to dry his tears. When he came out he was in complete amazement and very humbled. He was like you will never believe what just happened. When I got done ordering our coffee I went to pay and the lady said, "sir, it has already been taken care of." He thought, what? are you sure? taken care of? But how, because he didnt know a single person in this starbucks in alpharetta and was at a complete loss for words. She said, "yes, I am sure, it has been taken care of and your coffee is ready to the left." Wow... what an amazing feeling we both felt to know that in this depth of despair, God was with us and wanted us to know he was there. You think... oh God has so many more important things on his plate than us right now and our little cup of coffee... but it was so amazing to know that he was there even in such small tiny things like a latte. Then we went home to my parents to have the dreaded talk with Philip. Afterall, Texie has been Philip's best friend since birth... from playing ball (where Tex was all time outfielder) and riding on Texie like a horse to sharing snowcones and ice cream together... they were BFF! So when we got home and Philip asked where his Texie was... we just sat him down and told him that Tex had gone to heaven to see Jesus. He responded with, "mommy, I go see Jesus too!" Wow... you gotta love the innocent and sweet heart of a two year old. Then with each question of Tex's whereabouts... I try to hold it together and then cry where Philip cant see me. It has been so hard and I just keep praying that it will get easier. It is so hard to have lost my baby... but it is even more difficult when Philip keeps asking for him every 30 minutes. I prayed that God would give me the strength and calmness to get through these awful long days. And just when I felt like it wasnt getting better... I put Philip down for bed tonight. HE looked at me and said, "mommy, tomorrow is a new day." It was amazing... those were just the words I needed to hear and God spoke them right through my two year old! We are truly saddened as we lost a family member today but are humbled knowing that he is in a place where he can run as long as he wants and jump as high as he wants! He will truly never be replaced and will always hold a special place in our hearts! You know its not coincidental that DOG is GOD spelled backwards... I truly believe doggies are a little piece of heaven here on earth for us to enjoy. Today I was reading a doggie memorial on the internet and I fell in love with the sweet explanation of a 6 year old little boy. He was trying to answer the question of why a dog's life here on earth is so much shorter than a humans. And his answer truly brought joy to my heart. He said, "People are born so that they can learn how to live a good life -- like loving everybody all the time and being nice, right?" The 6yr old continued, "Well dogs already know how to do that, so they don't have to stay as long." A child's heart really does bring such joy and understanding to our crazy world!! We look forward to one day seeing our Texie in heaven!! And as my sweet sister in law Avri put it so perfectly... I know we will see Tex again in heaven... God wouldn't keep that joy from us! We love you Tex and will miss you always!!!!! xoxo
Texie playing for the last time as Philip's all time outfielder (this video was filmed 5 days before Texie passed away)
Our clay paw print of our sweet Tex... may he rest in peace
1 comment:
Steph, I am so sorry to hear of Tex's passing. I know how much he meant to you and your family. I will always remember how he had the softest hair, I loved how you would get him the "Puppy cut" so it would stay short and fluffy :)
I know your hearts feel an emptyness right now, but hold onto the special times you guys had and all the great memories. You will see Tex again.
Thinking of you!
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